May
1
stoled from teh nets
- Me: (cooking bacon)
- Alarm: EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE EVERYWHERE.
- Me: Damn it. (retrieving stepladder)
- Alarm: ALL THINGS THAT EVER WERE OR EVER WILL BE ARE NOW ABLAZE. ABANDON YOUR HOPES AND YOUR CHILDREN AND FLEE.
- Me: (jabbing at smoke alarm with broom)
- Alarm: CAUTION THE FIRE HAS EVOLVED CRUDE TOOLS AND IS ATTEMPTING TO SILENCE MY WARNINGS. LAMENT, BROTHERS! LAMENT! TELL MY WIFE I WAS FAITHFUL TO THE END.