Jul
21
- April: i hope you like it, asshole
- thejakeman15: No, it's terrible. fuck you.
- April: AT THE AIRPORT? :D
- thejakeman15: FINE.
Thejakeblog
Ugh. Fuck you, web 3.0
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Anonymous asked: HEY JAKE! WHY YOU SUCH A BADASS?
It’s in my blood man. I trained under the guy that got poop@yahoo.com as an e-mail address.
May
1
“
I lost my respect for boxing the first time I actually tried to watch a match. All the hugging… not manly or impressive.
So then I thought UFC would be awesome, no more of this sissy hugging crap, and they can finally kick, elbow and knee. Then I saw stuff like this crap in this video…
They don’t do this garbage in kung fu, do they? Oh wait, I recall a little hugging in Karate Kid. Is there any kind of hand-to-hand combat that doesn’t involve/allow this kind of stuff?
” Kotaku commentstoled from teh nets
- Me: (cooking bacon)
- Alarm: EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE EVERYWHERE.
- Me: Damn it. (retrieving stepladder)
- Alarm: ALL THINGS THAT EVER WERE OR EVER WILL BE ARE NOW ABLAZE. ABANDON YOUR HOPES AND YOUR CHILDREN AND FLEE.
- Me: (jabbing at smoke alarm with broom)
- Alarm: CAUTION THE FIRE HAS EVOLVED CRUDE TOOLS AND IS ATTEMPTING TO SILENCE MY WARNINGS. LAMENT, BROTHERS! LAMENT! TELL MY WIFE I WAS FAITHFUL TO THE END.
Apr
30
The old man hobbled up to Khedric and said “Who am I? I am the last of my kind, the last of an ancient people, the last holder of magick. And upon my inevitable death will all the secrets and powers of magick be lost forever to mankind, for we were never able to surmount the final obstacle. Despite all of the myths and legends, we never attained immortality. We lost control.”
Apr
29
WONDER-TONIC: Gentrification Ruined SimCity
I moved to SimCity back in 1993. Back then it was a raw place. There were barely any police departments and you never wanted to get home after midnight. But even though the neighborhood was dangerous and the property values were perpetually low due to the proximity to a nuclear power plant, it…
Apr
27
I do believe I am being trolled.
- Daniel : Jake, Jake
- Daniel : I am so much more knowledgeable than you it's not even funny
Apr
12
God, you our Fadda.
You stay inside da sky.
We like all da peopo know fo shua how you stay,
An dat you stay good an spesho,
An we like dem give you plenny respeck.
We like you come King fo everybody now.
We like everybody make jalike you like,
Ova hea inside da world,
Jalike da angel guys up inside da sky make jalike you like.
Give us da food we need fo today an every day.
Hemo our shame, and let us go
Fo all da kine bad stuff we do to you,
Jalike us guys let da odda guys go awready,
An we no stay huhu wit dem
Fo all da kine bad stuff dey do to us.
No let us get chance fo do bad kine stuff,
But take us outa dea, so da Bad Guy no can hurt us.
Cuz you our king,
You get da real power,
An you stay awesome foeva.
Dass it!”
(via stfumern)
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